The abuse of trust
They say you should never judge a book by its cover. Maybe the same thing applies to excerpts.
Reading these excerpts of a book on spouses and partners of paedophiles, I’m not entirely sure what the book is supposed to tell us. It’s entitled, “Understanding Child Abuse: The Partners of Child Sex Offenders Tell Their Stories”. The thing is, if the excerpts are anything to go by, there isn’t much to be understood.
Many of the women quoted are former victims of abuse themselves. And many also display clearly irrational judgement. Perhaps the best example of both is “Cheryl”, the last person quoted.
There was one social worker that tried giving me a lecture because I’d said I wanted to try and help him and she said, like, I shouldn’t stay with him just to help him. She felt because I had been in a violent relationship before, I had to be one of these people and I said, “No, I’m not like that, I just do want to help Graham – he’s worth helping.” He has his off moments but I don’t stay with him to stick two fingers up at everybody – I stay with him because I love him and I think he’s worth the effort.
“Graham”, incidentally, has been convicted of on multiple occasions, so has clearly demonstrated a tendency for recidivism. And there is nothing in any of Cheryl’s account which explains how Graham might be “worth the effort”.
Judging by these examples, it’s hard not the reach the conclusion that most of these women find themselves in their predicament at least in some part due to their own circumstances and failings. Which is not to say that all women whose partners turn out to be paedophiles are that way. “Rachel” perhaps best exemplifies a woman who is as close to someone who is not herself already “damaged” or displaying poor judgement.
Even in her case, however, there is nothing in her story which lends us any greater understanding of child abuse, the abusers, or their partners and family.
Unless the excerpts are missing something, I’m not sure what the book achieves, except satisfying morbid curiosities.
